Thoughts on friendship

Henri J.M. Nouwen once wrote: '' When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares". In life, we meet strangers, we laugh with them, we dine with them, and they become part of our life. But how do we measure friendship? Is it by the time they spent with us? Or is it by how much tender they provide us with? Does our heart naturally know who is our true friend or do we not know till we are back-stapped?  Is it by the hours they spent sniggering with us? Or is it by the minutes they stood with us in silence enduring our pain? I may not know much in life, but this much I know, if we desire for a friend to lay on whenever we feel fragile, we shall be that person first. Why is it that we always demand for things that we are not entitled to? We beg for a friendship that lasts forever, we demand a friend that would never leave our back, yet we judge and point fingers at each other, we gossip and feed through the hurt we give one another, yet we hope that the loved ones would come and find comfort in us. But how dare we provide comfort for others when we can't have peace of mind? For how long could we keep this war going? Pleasing who we wish to notice us with tender words. And hurting who give their best to please us. We became scared of trusting. Yet aching for comfort. Hoping that someone would come along forgiving us for our past. And accepting us for who we wish to become. But how could we ask this much when we "ourselves" did not forgive us? Is friendship a relationship established between two strangers? Or does it start within us? be the friend you wish to have.