Absolve me

If ever my sight hath the power to dazzle you. Absolve me, set me free. If ever my name hath reigned your ears with delight. Allow me to mirth over this dearth, For not you nor I could belong to a world of lust and long. Forgive me; forgive my soul for I was just a doltish girl, unwary of the cost I must recompense. Absolve me, Absolve my soul for I have damned yours in every aspect I have known, childishly I have drown you every dawn. But I beg you not to become I. I beg you to differ. If love was enough, don't spit on me, don't let me down. For I may be cursed but you are cure.

Found it in my memo (old)

In the darkest nights, you were my all time prince, my saviour, my salvation. I loved you whilst you loathed me for I was your daylight amuse, your opposite twin, your unbeatable sin.
As different as dark and light, we were. For how can a saint and sinner be equal? How can they be together? You gave me every reason to let go while I held to every hope to stay.  Oh how childish of me? To think I could ever be yours and you be mine. Yet I know I would love you till the last star has burned i would still be yours but you would still not be mine, not this time,  not ever.

Alice

Consumed and lost in thoughts

Sleepless nights

Fading in the blackness

Like Alice with no savior

Don't allow me to drawn

Don't let me fall down

Like Alice with no savior

I keep diving down the hole

I'm no longer I

You are no longer mine

Like Alice with no savior

I keep falling down the hole

These demons are my darkness

They bring me back to light

Different light

Different dawn

They washed me with pain

They cleansed me in rain

But you were not there

You were never there

Like Alice, I'm in madness

Something fast. I guess a song?

Baby come with me
Let's change the world
Let the world hear our song
We been quiet for so long
There is no reason to be afraid
Let's get on top of the ladder
Let's sing it louder
Let them learn our song
baby let's fight the shadow
there is no reason to be ashamed
Baby come with me
Let's change the world
Let the world hear our song
we been quiet for so long
No more tears
No more shadowed feelings
Let's have no more forbidden love
Let them know
Let's let them know
I wanna sing our song
I wanna scream at the top of the world
Baby come with me
Let's change the world
Let the world hear our song
We been quiet for so long

cita girls

We had lot of ups and downs, we had lot of fights and scars, a lot of love and a lot of care.  We've had the times our lives. And now it's time to let go, couple of months and some of us will no longer be around.

It's hard to march away when you know these are the best days , but it's time to turn the page. To start a new chapter, nevertheless we will never forget CITA. I'm so thankful for the memories we had, I'm grateful for the love you have given me, and for the acceptance you showed me. You have taught me many lessons that I could not get from a hundred schools. You taught me how to love and accept. How to forgive and not hold a grudge, and most importantly, you taught me how to live each day. After graduation, I am not sure if I'll be able to meet some of you, and that look might be the last that our eyes meet, for that day may come soon, know that you all have a special place in my heart.  

a night prayer

Why do I always end up lost in thoughts? Why do I feel all alone at the end of the day when god gave me more than what I deserve? I am thankful. god,  I am truly thankful. Yet I can't battle this emptiness, I'm so consumed, my soul is weary with this dark sorrow that I have no control over. It consume me during the day and shadow me at night.  I envy the dead for they are closer to you, yet I'm frightened to depart this life while my sins won't allow me be near you. I pray for you may strengthen me with power through your Spirit in my inner being. I beg you for mercy upon my soul for no one else can grant me this wish, no one is greater, no one is more kind. I pray you, allow me to persist  this life with grace, and die with your well at your command. guide me to what's best for me, and enlighten me through the path I shall take. For I am just a slave, and without you, I shall see no light.

Maleficent movie random thoughts (spoilers alert)

I just watched maleficent movie, and I can't help not to say, I'm so in love with the plot twist, it was so humanist in so many levels, it contained love, hatred , anger , revenge and forgiveness all in one short movie, it was an educational story rather than just another Disney fairytale; to be able to open up to a person with all your flaws, to love and trust someone to the fullest, and to wait days and years for that one person, that one true love, that person who made you feel special with all your blemishes and viciousness, to wake up one day with the disloyal of your true love, to be betrayed by that one person you would give up the whole world for, that anger you feel after knowing how stupid you were, how ignorant you were to actually believe true love can happen! Maleficent did not stop at that point, the movie showed how if someone would take their anger in an ungraceful way, the consequences that comes with anger, the outcome of revenge was not easy to absorb.

The years it took her to cleanse herself and soul out of anger were not short, and not easy, however to find true love in someone you need no benefit from, someone you are not responsible of nor you would gain a thing from was her way to cleanse, to give without return, to love without being known or acknowledged , to practice motherhood in secrecy,  to be a true mother without a title. It showed her what true love really meant, and how it might happen in the strangest places with the strangest people, and it does not include a prince charming nor a man you need to relay on, but it can be with anyone you care about, true love is the love of the soul. This movie truly shows how to every story there is another side, a side we always try to ignore, to not listen to, for we know we will reveal far more than we wish to know, how lovely it would be if we never knew maleficent story? Just another romantic story, yet maleficent story showed who is the true hero, the real person who suffered the most and yet learned to forgive in time and not hold a grudge.